


Barry Henry James Allen

by Hiver_Frost_Elf



Category: The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: Accidental Barry Acquisition, Adopted Children, Barry Allen In A Coma, Childhood, Gen, Humor, Letters, Teenagers, Teenhood, and while also being James Jesse, as good parenting as one can do from prison, exploiting homophobia to get a bully beat up, for like five sentences, it's formatted more like a texting fic tbh, so just relax, tagged Major Character Death cuz Henry dying kicks off the plot, this AU features unrealistic logistics to make it happen, this fic's as gen as it can be with him in it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-19
Updated: 2018-08-21
Packaged: 2019-06-12 23:26:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,568
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15351072
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hiver_Frost_Elf/pseuds/Hiver_Frost_Elf
Summary: James realizes the mail crew's been screwing around, so he sneaks through Iron Heights to deliver Barry's letters to Henry; except Henry's been killed in prison before all the overzealous mama's boys realize he didn't murder his own wife, and James doesn't have the heart to tell Barry (and Joe doesn't cuz it'll just bring back Barry's "he didn't do it" mantra), so he just... keeps writing, trying to be a goody two-shoes father in Henry's stead but of course being pretty dang terrible at it.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [TheRedHarlequin](https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheRedHarlequin/gifts).



> Happy birthday, Chommy!! (presents you this fic tied up in a neat little bow)

An extra letter that month surprised James.  This kid, Barry, seemed to have it in his head that James was his father and that he’d been wrongfully convicted of murder—which... well, that was hilarious!  James didn’t stop laughing for an hour!  Creeped out the guards enough to get him an extra chocolate pudding for dinner.

James eventually realized the mail crew had been screwing around; these letters were meant for Doc Allen, so James snuck out of his cell—easy-peasy; James was almost insulted that nobody had found his tunnels yet—to deliver them only to locate a bloody pile of mucus that was formerly Doc Allen.  Politely asking a quivering fool revealed that a bunch of mama’s boys actually thought Doc Allen had offed his wife.

James was a killer, and he could spot a killer a mile away.  Doc Allen was just someone who shouldn’t have been here.

It felt wrong to throw Barry’s letters away, so they sat in a pile separate from Axel’s.

Except he still kept getting them.  Some weeks, he’d get a letter every day.  Seems this Joe fella hadn’t informed him of Doc Allen’s passing—which, well, who’d want the honor of not only being the person who arrested their foster son’s father, but also essentially signed his death warrant?

James gave Joe a month to tell him, and when he never did...

Well, who was James to break a grieving boy’s heart?

 _His_ grieving boy, his mind soon corrected.

And so began James’ quest to be the goody two-shoes father Barry should’ve had!

> Hi, Dad, Tony’s picking on me in school again...
> 
> Heya, Bucko!

James gagged using such an asinine phrase, but that’s what goody two-shoeses called their sons, right?

> Have you tried leaving a glitter bomb in his locker?  His friends will beat him up for you because glitter’s gay now for some reason—but if anyone tries to hurt you for being gay, throw firecrackers at their face!
> 
> I think that’ll get me expelled...
> 
> Nonsense! It’s self-defense!  They won’t be able to touch you!
> 
> DAAAAAD!!! TONY KEEPS TAKING MY BEEARRR!!!
> 
> Glitter bomb ‘im!  ...How are you both dealing with a jerk named Tony?  What school are you two in again?
> 
> Central Middle School.
> 
> CMS!!!
> 
> ...There’s a kid named Barry/Alexa in Miss Sanchez’s/Mister Delrae’s class.  He’s/she’s your third cousin twice removed or some mess like that.  Why doncha say hi to ‘im/‘er for me?
> 
> OH MY GOD BARRY’S THE BEST PERSON EVER!!!  HIS HAIR IS FLUFFY AND HE’S SMART AND HE NEVER GETS IN TROUBLE FOR ANYTHING CUZ TEACHERS LOVE HIM!!!
> 
> Joe thinks Alexa’s loud and “a bad influence”, but I think she’s fun!  She and Iris are the only kids who’ll talk to me anymore...  Except now Tony picks on me for hanging out with girls.
> 
> THE GLITTER BOMB WORKED GREAT!!!  HE’LL BE OUTTA SCHOOL FOR THE REST OF THE YEAR RECOVERING FROM CRACKED RIBS!!!
> 
> Fantastic!

* * *

> I don’t think I’m gay though.
> 
> I AM THOUGH!!!
> 
> You’re only twelve, you’ve got all the time in the world to figure yourselves out.

* * *

> ACTUALLY I MIGHT BE PAN!!!  IS IT TOO LATE TO CHANGE THIS KINDA STUFF!?!
> 
> Absolutely, not! Keep me up to date on any and all changes, sweetheart!

* * *

> HOLY SHIT I’M A DUDE!!! LOVE AXEL PS WHAT IF YOU HATE ME NOW!?!
> 
> ‘Course I still love ya, bucko!  Welcome to smelly bathrooms and everyone expecting you to care about sports.
> 
> Holy shit! I’m bi!
> 
> Hi, Bi, I’m Dad!
> 
> WHY ARE ALL THE DUDE BATHROOMS SMELLY!?!
> 
> A mystery for the ages.
> 
> Joe doesn’t really get Axel.  He didn’t really get Axel before, but he’s trying his best to get his pronouns right at least?
> 
> Well, that’s good—otherwise yours truly would’ve had to bust outta this joint to teach ‘im a lesson!
> 
> Surrre, Dad...
> 
> THANKS, DAD!!!
> 
> Anything for my boys!

* * *

> DAD DAD DAD BARRY’S IN A COMA AND IT’S BEEN A WEEK AND HE’S NOT WAKING UP AND I LOOKED ONLINE AND IT SAYS IF YOU DON’T WAKE UP IN A WEEK YOU’RE NEVER WAKING UP WHAT IF I LOSE MY THIRD COUSIN TWICE REMOVED HE’S THE FIRST PERSON WHO EVER CALLED ME AXEL AND A DUDE I CAN’T LOSE HIM DAD FIX HIM I KNOW YOU CAN’T FIX HIM BUT I WANT HIM TO BE FIXED AND HE’S NOT GETTING FIXED HE’S IN STAR LABS AND THE BOSS DUDE LOOKS AT BARRY FUNNY
> 
> Axel, what have I told you about looking up medical shit online?
> 
> DON’T DO IT!?!
> 
> Exactly, my lil jape!  So let the docs do their doctoring, and for now...  Why don’t you leave Beary with him?  Beary always helps you sleep, so maybe he’ll help Barry sleep too.
> 
> OKAY!!!
> 
> Feel better?
> 
> A LITTLE BIT!!!  BUT WHO AM I SUPPOSED TO SLEEP WITH NOW???
> 
> Have you tried picking up someone at Saints & Sinners?  It’s a shithole, but some hardcore cuddle bugs call it home.

* * *

> BARRY WOKE UP BARRY WOKE UP BARRY WOKE UP!!!
> 
> Oh thank fuck!
> 
> WE VISITED HIS MOM’S GRAVE AND SOME DUDE NAMED HENRY WAS NEXT TO HER AND BARRY ASKED JOE WHAT THE FUCK AND JOE FINALLY TOLD HIM HENRY’S BEEN DEAD FOR YEARS THEN BARRY SAID HE’D NEVER GO TO FAMILY DINNER AGAIN!!!  HENRY’S BARRY’S ACTUAL DAD IDK???  AREN’T YOU HIS DAD???
> 
> It’s been how fucking long and Joe still hasn’t told him!?  What the hell???  ...Barry’s thought I was Henry this whole time?

“Yes,” Barry fumed from across the glass, shaking like a bomb rolling across tacks. “I was a kid!  What if you were some creep!?”

“I figured Joe would’ve told you already!”

“He never tells anybody anything!  Why would he tell me something as important as my dad fucking died!?!”

“That was a shitty move, but you know what would’ve been a shittier move?  Breaking a grieving kid’s heart...”

Barry’s lips twitched.  He hunched in on himself a little.

“...I...  Listen, Barry, I get it; I’m not Doc Allen.  Hell, I barely caught whiff of him before poof—he was gone; but everything I’ve heard about him from you makes me wish you got to grow up with him, with both your parents.”

“...With all my parents,” Barry eventually said. “You and Joe included.”

“After all that, you’d still call us schmucks your father?”

“Yeah. I mean, you’re all I got, so...”

“Hey! Tell ya what?  As soon as I bust outta here, I’ll take you and Axel out for ice cream!”

“If you get out of here.”

“Have you seen security in this place?  The guards are complete pushovers—murder a couple, and bam!  I got cable!  Been keeping up with all the latest trends, including Central City’s own Speedy Gonzales.”

Barry chuckled awkwardly.  James watched the emotions shifting in Barry’s eyes.  Barry seemed to be brimming with energy.

“Still... you’re not exactly someone I can bring to family dinner.”

“Heard you weren’t going to those anymore?”

“Oh, yeah...”

“I’m sure you two’ll patch things up.  Dishonesty and overprotectiveness aside, he’s a decent guy, and he loves you.  Give him a week, and he’ll be begging you to come back!”

The guard grunted at them to pack it in.

“See ya, son!  Say hi to Axel for me!”

Barry smiled as he hung up the phone, “You... you got it, Dad.”


	2. Chapter 2

“Stop, stop, stop! Stop!! Stop!!! Please!” Barry begged, completely at the Tricksters’ mercy.

“Keep it up, Axel, everything’s almost loaded up!” James’ voice trailed off as he carted more loot to the Trickstermobile: a Rolls Royce Silver Ghost caked in colors that were psychedelic enough to send even a 70s enthusiast on a groovy high.  It should’ve been impossible for the CCPD to lose it, but time and time again, James and Axels’ death-defying driving managed to shake even the most dedicated officer.

Precise strikes had Barry doubled over and bereft of breath.  Axel cackled.  Barry was too quick to fall for his tricks most of the time, but his older brother was helpless this time!

“Axel, Axel, please!” Barry wheezed.

The lightning strike did lots of cool things to Barry: it gave him super speed, let him vibrate through trucks—James instated _no more secrets_ after he discovered, to his horror, that he’d almost detonated one of his kids.

“So that means I can take a look at your plans?” Barry snuck an eyeful of James’ blueprints.

James batted him away with a grin, “Schemes and secrets are completely different!”

But the best by far was that Barry was super ticklish now!  Axel had been taking advantage of Barry’s weakness to tickles back when they were kids, but the lightning supercharged Barry’s nerves into firecrackers that popped at the lightest brush of stray fingers.

Barry pounded his fist against the floor, “Axellllll!”

“Time to scram, Axel!” James called as her started the Trickstermobile.  Axel hopped into shotgun and whooped as they made their getaway.

Barry gasped and pulled himself up from the floor, panting and dizzy.  He found a note in his belt—he didn’t have pockets.

_We’ll be at the safehouse on Cross Street!_

_~ Dad & Axel_

Barry smiled before returning to STAR Labs _disappointed_ that’d he’d _lost_ the Tricksters.  Doctor Wells sighed to hide his grumbles, Cisco vowed to have better vehicle tracking software next time around, and Caitlin rolled her eyes pretending not to know anything.

Barry shrugged and flashed to Cross Street after wishing everybody, “Better luck next time!”

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for taking time to read this! Enjoy what you do here and everywhere, especially if it's your birthday!


End file.
